it's getting harder to stay off the cancer-sticks. yesterday seems like a walk in the park, compared with today. yesterday, i only wanted a fag; since about lunchtime, i think i'd be prepared to kill for one. by tomorrow, i'll probably be ready to blowtorch my own parents for a few draws.
it's friday and the night all idiots win their freedom. hurl themselves into pubs in pursuit of inappropriate bonding with the scum they work with.
apart from my worries on "the gay thing" question, i'd be smoking again within a couple of hours. so i came home via sainsbury's and picked up the makings of a chickpea curry.
one problem with stopping smoking is that burning need "to do something with my hands". which equates to "doing something involving my mouth". eating as a cigarette-substitute.
we live in a culture of instant gratification, a society built on sugar and salt to cover the taste of all that fat.
so, i'm trying to stay away from crisps and chocolate. i won't manage, but if i at least try, i can minimise the damage they do. to that end, i've stockpiled fruit.
i might as well post this up. i've been sitting Here looking at the screen for about ten minutes now.
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