it's the Marquis de Sade's birthday today. i'd posted something up on fetlife and ic about it just after midnight. then forgotten to check whether anyone had replied yet when i got up.
that said, i'd texted a couple of people to wish them a happy Sademass. elaine replied almost at once and, shortly afterwards, so did She.
going back to what i was saying yesterday, Sade's a textbook case. a writer i lapped up when i was young and idealistic, the decades, wastelands and failed relationships slowly ground that down and out in me.
She sparks these things up in me. forces me to remember when things looked good - or, at least, better than this!
the last few years have been shit, if i'm honest. they didn't kill me, so they must have made me stronger, but it was touch and go for a while there.
coincidentally enough, i heard something at work today that put all of that in a truer perspective.
i've got into the habit of late of fetching and replacing my own files from the cabinets.
there are "assistants" whose job is to keep the files-system ticking over. the ones i've watched and/or spoken to seem to be around twenty and hate the entire world - starting with this place. and all who sail in her.
i was kneeling on the floor, replacing a file i'd just finished with, when i heard voices. two of the assistants, getting closer, trying to mutter under their breath. and then, i picked out my name. i was under discussion!
they were discussing how gay i was. and, what kind of gay - "rock hudson" or "john barrowman". i was appalled - and fascinated - simultaneously.
i stayed down and their conversation soon shifted to football, then which club they should go to on saturday as they wandered back the way they'd come.
which is odd. i suppose you never can tell, the impact you're going to have on those around you. but it's still a surprise to learn that i'm thought of as gay. especially after what happened last monday.
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