happy birthday - altered images

stella'd added me as a friend on fetlife, i noticed this morning. and left me a message. it was concerning tam's birthday. i'd forgotten all about it. and it was saturday!

she was thinking about a do at Her place. just a few people - and it was to be a surprise - tam wasn't to know.

i messaged her back. just to find out what kind of surprise. scene people? friends? family?

and, could i bring Someone? i didn't mention any names, but it would have been obvious Who i meant.

the nicotine withdrawal's hitting me at random times. i'd have expected it after food, when drinking, as i'm leaving somewhere to go outdoors, but no.

i was on my second cup of coffee, just thinking about toast, when i noticed a new memo on ic.

it was Her, enquiring whether i'd remembered i was Hers for the afternoon. i replied at once - in the affirmative. and waited for Her to get back to me.

found another memo a few moments later. not Her but harold, inviting me to join a Female Supremacy group for males. i opened a fresh tab and signed up right away.

i always hate these boxes where you have to explain to the group's owners why you feel you should be allowed to join. i realise this weeds out the wankers (both literal and figurative) but i always feel like i'm being expected to justify myself.

i gave them a couple of lines on how i've been a sub for years and my new relationship seems to be pointing towards it being a Female-Led one.

as an afterthought, i said that i'd been invited by an existing member.

i met Her in town in a café i hadn't been aware of. She sent the directions to my phone along with what She wanted to drink when She arrived.

i ordered myself a second americano as She sipped Her earl grey. today wouldn't be as whistle-stop as last week, She told me.

She seemed in a positive sort of mood, so i brought up the subject of tam's birthday and asked whether i might be able to buy something for him if i spotted it.

silence. She shook Her head no. "not on My time," She said. but if you do see anything suitable, you can always come back tomorrow.

so we had our lunch. there were half a dozen different vegetarian possibilities on the menu, each with its own, unique excuse why i couldn't have any. She had something vaguely spanish-sounding, with shreds of light and dark meat in a tomato sauce, while i had more coffee.

i have to admit, sitting drinking coffee while She ate, i started feeling the cigarette-urge. i glanced at the clock. three minutes past. the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal cannot last more than the length of time it takes to smoke a cigarette. i can tough this out.

she said something, we began talking and i lost myself in that. the biting need to smoke passed. i felt the colour seeping back into the world.

when She'd finished eating, i was sent to fetch Her a coffee and i got a tea for myself. i'd had three coffees already and felt a bit caffeined out. She went for a cigarette while it cooled, leaving me at the table, wrestling with my own nicotine-need.

the shops were less crowded than last sunday, if anything. or it may have been i wasn't running hell-for-leather, trying to keep up with Her. we did half-a-dozen shops; clothes and shoes for the most part, but we spent thirty or forty minutes around harvey nichols' make-up.

i hadn't set foot in the place before, so it was interesting on that level.

and then it was over. we were at Her car, i was loading the bags into the boot and, after i closed it, She gave me a peck on the cheek and drove away.

i waited ages on a bus, it being sunday and all.