i'm really starting to get my head around "now you are Hers", i think. i read chapters six and seven last night. then i went back and re-read chapter one in the light of what i'd just read.
chapter six was about males getting in touch with the symbolism that underpins their fantasies, while seven looked at understanding limits and accepting that your Owner has the right of veto over any of them.
throughout, the Author recommends that the male subject keep a diary of his feelings as he becomes more and more of a thing, less of a person.
everything should go into this, his successes and his failures, the times that he loves Her as well as the times he hates, fears and/or resents Her.
after i'd read it, i wrote an e-mail to Ms Simone, asking Her perspective on some of these issues. then i wrote to harold, a broadly similar e-mail, although asking more from a slave-to-slave point of view. then i turned the computer off and climbed into bed.
it was someone's birthday at work today. one of the women from the cash-room. i quite like her in fact, but i'm sticking to my strategy of keeping my head down until further notice.
i think if it wasn't for all the bullshit in the air just now, i might have gone for lunch with them. there was a touch of pressure to attend - after all, i was on their turf at the time!
the cash-room lot don't seem to be part of the generalised queer-hate i'm facing.
as it was, i devoted lunchtime to shopping. shopping for Her, in fact.
it occurred to me the other night that i've yet to buy Her a present. nothing fancy or break-the-banky, just a little gesture of my respect. i nosed around the market for a bit.
the first place i looked was Mistress HoneyBunny's stall, but nothing jumped out at me. i'm unsure of what size She is, and buying a Lady a crop or paddle this close to the start of a relationship is a bit pushy, to say the least!
so i settled for a DVD. when in doubt, there's always fopp. and anyone can find the right film with sufficient time to dig!
tam texted me as i was going back into work. did i want to hook up for a couple? i agreed and, on the off-chance, texted Ms Simone to check this was ok.
i'm not at all sure whether we've reached that stage yet, but i t ought it was better to be safe than sorry.
i met tam in some pub in town i hadn't heard of before but google maps had. the décor was so innocuous, the music so understated, that it felt like a pub in the process of coming out as gay.
"it think it's a gay-friendly pub," tam explained. "lady gaga on day and night and you don't get served unless you can prove you've got cement on your boots." i slid my office-drone footwear further under the table.
we chatted for a while about this 'n' that, before he mentioned criminally insadie. as i'd thought, Stella hadn't been a big fan. just what anybody needs at the start of a brand new relationship - physical evidence that your new sweetheart and potential life-partner has an idiot for an ex.
i mentioned "now you are Hers" to tam and he seemed interested. if nothing else, i could do with somebody else to discuss it with. harold's all very well, but he tends to flick in and out of focus a lot.
it wasn't a particularly heavy conversation. tam seems to be coping pretty well with the changes he's going through. we gave it a couple of hours and went out separate ways. i came home and had a look at the group, before writing this.
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